This is probably the sloppiest story online, If not, It can't be far off.
It all began in September of 1999.
It was a boring day and I decided to go online to chat for a bit. I'd just started going in the Gay.com chatrooms and to help me stay "in the closet" to people in Nottingham I use to go in the Manchester rooms. I liked the manc accent also, That's one of the reasons lol.
I was in there and I kept seeing one person's name come up. It said,
<Ballbag> Hiya Nite Ross :o)
This guy said Hi to me when I went in the room. It was weird, he was speaking to me like he knew me. I laughed at his name. I mean where the hell did Ballbag come from? I clicked on his name and a link for his website came up. I thought I'd give it a whirl and see what it was like.
I read the entire site as I knew most had, It was great, Professionally done and Smartly presented. Then I clicked on the pics page, and I'm sure like most others, I was completely Blown away. The first thought that entered my head was,
"He is absolutely gorgeous"
I found it hard to believe that someone who could be so sweet and nice in the way that he wrote, and the things he wrote about could be so good looking.
I opened up a private conversation with him I remember it so clearly, this is how it started.
<Nite Ross> Hi M8 :) Can I ask you a question?
<ballbag> Hiya, Sure
<Nite Ross> Where did you get your name from?
<ballbag> From my brother, he came in the room one day while I was thinking of a name, He said, "Alright ballbag" So I used it

We got talking, I enjoyed our chats even more, every day. I went in that room every day so I could speak to him.

At this moment in time I was involved with a Lad called Leon after coming outta bad relationship with Scott. I was on the rebound and Leon gave me comfort that I needed. But there was a problem, Leon was kinda falling for me, and GOD, I was doing the same to him. He's a real nice lad, He was everything I needed when Scott finished me, He held me high and gave me my strength back. I just wanted to die after Scott had ripped me apart inside.

Leon knew about Rob as if I'd known him all my life, But I'd only recently met Rob. It was gonna get complicated and whats more I KNEW IT.
Trying to get thoughts of Rob out my head I decided to stop going in chat so much, But I could'nt. That decision was in vain. Me and Rob had already started e-mailing each other every night. I got up bright and early to see if Rob had mailed me. And every morning when I checked, he had done. I went to work with such a smile on my face.
Things were getting tough though, I knew Leon was falling for me, and at the same time I was falling for Rob, What could I do? It was selfish but I decided to follow my heart and see what that brought to me.
It brought me Rob.
One night after a drunken stupour after my aunt and uncle (who mixes his own cocktails and gives em me!!!) had been down I decided to tell Rob how I felt.
I wrote it in an email and sent it as usual at night before I went to bed in the what we'd come to call "goodnight mail"
The next morning I was dreading what he'd written back.
He'd been out that night, and when he got in he mailed me right back after I'd told him how I felt. The mail started by telling me about his night, then about something else, then the response to what I'd told him.
And OH MY GOD he told me that......
HE WAS FALLING IN LOVE WITH ME!!!!!

Things grew and grew from there, We got closer and closer. But we still had'nt spoke on the phone after nearly two months of talking to eachother online. What was I to think? Well, all kinds of thoughts went through my head. Does he still love me? Does he still like me? At one point I felt he did'nt care full stop. But that's what Love does to you isn't it?
It fills with love and then Fills YOU with paranoia!
I was texting him one morning before he went to work. He used to work in Manchester and this particular morning I was off work, so I texted him asking if he wanted me to ring him on his dinner. He replied,
"No it's ok but ta babe xxx xxx xxx"
I answered back to him,
"Why? Do you get nervous when you think about talking to me on the phone too"
Minutes of silence, then a reply,
"Yeah but we'll see, might phone you later, and I'm 45 minutes late"
My heart was in my throat, OMG He was going to call me, and that night he did.
We spoke fora good hour and a half, I could'nt understand him at first, I had to get my head right round his accent but soon got there.
The more we spoke, the deeper we fell, the deeper we fell the more we wanted, So when Rob felt like we could'nt just talk on the phone anymore Rob decided to say,
"What do you think about me coming down at the weekend?"
BING! There it goes, that little bell has just rung and your heart completely jumped out of your mouth this time and is heading for the Bathroom

24th November 2000
The weekend had come after a whole week of Tension and nerves, I was finally going to meet the man I loved, it was kind of a blind date in a way I suppose.
All ady I was walking round the house, fidgetting, losing my marbles, worrying myself sick but the time was coming,a nd although I was so scared of it finally getting here, I could'nt wait a single secind longer at the same time.

I was on the phone to Louisa when the time came, I was walking down the steps of the train station, I could see a figure waiting for me in the Shelter, I knew it was him, BUT GOD I WAS SCARED. And in any usual typical, first meeting nervosis situation I made an ass of myself with the first words that came out of my mouth. I said,
"Well you must be you"
CHONG
First mistake of the night, DON'T MAKE ANOTHER! WAFFLE BRAINS
He smiled, but could'nt keep eye contact, he was so shy, And so cute at the same time.
We spent the night in two bars, the first one was "the Pilgrims oak" We sat in there chewing the fat about anyhting that came into our heads, He peeled the label from a bottle of Bud all in one piece, and GOd I was Impressed, Never seen it doneWhen me and mates went out not one of us could take it all in one piece but he just had and I was like I've said, - Impressed.
We then went to the Bowman, the hotel where he was staying and basically did the same, Just chatted. When Last orders were called I decided to take him for a nice Moonlit stroll around the Lakes nearby.
CHONG
Mistake Number Two
Clever Boy Jonny, Hellbent on taking his newly found love on a moonlit stroll around the lakes forgot that it was Winter, Wet and Muddy, Not to mention cloudy so , it was'nt romantic, It was a shambles, We could'nt see the moon for cloud and we both got Muddied up to the Eyeballs! Hmph.

Well we finally made it back to the Hotel after slipping and sliding everywhere and me surpassing the urge to just grab him and kiss him.
He invited me in for a coffee, Oh it was lovely and warm, He sat on Bed, adn I sat on the other while BBC 2 spat out the late showing of Top Of The Pops.
Leanne Rimes came on, The video to "Can't fight the moonlight" Well we did'nt even get to see it but that song remains special to me since. All through the video they were kissing, and everytime they did my heart popped and I swallowed louder than a dumper truck dumping windchimes down a mineshaft. Kept thinking shoud I kiss him when I go? Should I wait and see if he kisses me??? OMG WHAT TO DO!
Madonna was just drawing to a close on the TV when he pulled out his Writing Pad and ripped a sheet out. He passed it to me and said,
"Here's tonight's E-Mail, seeing as I can't type you one I thought I'd write you one"
Now How goddam Cute is that?
Well the night soon drew to a close and I decided I'd better get off home.
To try and prolong my stay I said I was'nt leaving until I'd found a smoke alarm. So we both went looking for a smoke alarm on teh walls and ceiling trying to put off the in-evitable, "Who's kissing who first?" We were lucky we did'nt have to do that, Just before i left he asked me for a hug.
And boy did he get one, I wrapped my arms around him and held him close and felt such a surge of power rushing through me. I knew from that moment on that I wanted him to be in my arms forever.
During that Hug I asked for a kiss, He replied
"Sure" and gently pulled his head from shoulder and placed his lips upon mine. Softly and sweetly he kissed me and I felt Rapture so sweet and strong.
OH MY GOD The Emotion of it all, I can't explain it.
I finally arrived home, Sat in the chari in teh living room, Opened up his E-Mail and read it about seven times before I finally went off to bed, I could hardly sleep all I could think about was that Kiss, I've never been kissed like that before.

And those kisses still come thick and fast today. Everyday, morning, noon, and Night, I get kissed Hugged and most of all loved. Loved beyond my wildest dreams.
Those Private conversations in chat, to E-Mails, to phone calls, to weekend Mettings, and finally to this, Us living together.
He's the most special, sweet, kind, caring, loving, giving, sparkling, gentle, special person I've ever met and I'm so proud and happy and extremely Lucky to be able to call him mine.

So for all of you out there who think Gay men just sleep around, get what they can and move on, Think on, Because some of us are in loving relationships, who have what we want with the man we have, have what we need, and can ask for nothing more.

It's excellent being this happy :o)